Husband is not working, what to do?
The family model was formed thousands of centuries ago. She is simple and known to everyone - the wife in the family should be the mistress and mother of the children, and the husband is the head of the family and the earner who earns money and provides a reliable rear to the whole family. But, in our days, alas, a lot has changed. Now you can easily meet the following marriage situation - the wife brings up children, regularly keeps house and works around the clock, but the spouse, on the contrary, is at home and is not going to go to work. The husband does not work, what to do in this case? Let's look at several reasons for this embarrassment, and see how to make a man regain the status of a worker and a reliable family member.
The husband does not want or can not work
Naturally, there are situations where the husband does not work, maybe a great many - he quit his job, was reduced at the enterprise, became disabled for health reasons and simply, being under the influence of depression, does not want to get a job. Of course, many women look at such frills spouse differently.Some are quite satisfied with such a moment in their life together, because in this case, the wife has the opportunity to realize herself at work, make a career and become a successful business lady. Well, what's wrong with that? The wife is actively working, and the faithful spouse is engaged in housekeeping, goes to the grocery store and brings up children. Yes, there is nothing bad, if such a distribution of responsibilities in the family is quite comfortable for both. As they say, peace and love, these harmonious family relationships.
But, more often than not, the situation of a non-working husband is irritating and detrimental to many wives. This happens when the spouse fundamentally does not want to get at least some kind of work, but is waiting for something special - with a huge salary and career rise. Here, as they say, you can wait a lifetime, and the spouse will “work hard” and grow old ahead of time.
If, since the time when the husband does not want to work, at least three or four months have passed, then it is impossible to do without a frank conversation. It is necessary to sit down two spouses for the so-called "negotiating table" and find out all that prevents the return of the status of the earner to her husband.After the conversation, it is worth waiting for another month and, if there was no change in the labor activity of the spouse, then the spouse is alone, or with the children, to live separately. The husband must be aware of the seriousness of the situation and begin to ensure his own residence without the help of his wife.
How to help find a husband a job
Sometimes, the reasons for a non-working husband lie in his natural modesty, shyness and infantilism. The same thing happens, but if a woman chose just such a man for herself as the second half, then she knew what was going on from the very beginning. Therefore, now she should be helped to find a job for her husband - through her acquaintances, friends, the Internet and with the help of ads in the newspaper. If the wife sees that the spouse is happy to accept her help and, while actively participating in the search for work, the couple is on the right track. And, if the search for a workplace has obviously dragged out and a man, practically, does not suit anything and does not like anything, then his wife should think about it - is it not in vain that she started all this? Ultimatums, of course, are extreme and not at all pleasant, but sometimes they can’t do without them. Therefore, if a spouse has been lying on the couch for a long time and is not going to take off his bed in the next five years, then let everything remain in its place - the husband is on the couch in his apartment,and let the spouse live peacefully and independently in another house.
How to make a husband work
In our time, such a situation is often encountered - an adult woman marries a rather young man whom she is ready to provide even for old age. In this family, everything was initially decided - the husband is in the capacity of a gigolo and lover, who gives his wife spiritual and physiological comfort. The question - how to make a husband work - in this newly-minted family is not worth it at all, because the wife is happy with everything, and she herself is ready to drag out the share of the breadwinner and the “wallet”. Many wives, in such cases, find for their spouses easy work “at home”, on the Internet or give them the opportunity to realize themselves creatively, soaring in their dreams and fantasies.
Correctly say - the love of evil, you will love the unemployed. Here everything is clear, like a white day, the wife adores and worships her husband to such an extent, which allows him, practically, not to work, to sit on her neck, to change, to walk and not to bother to find a job. In such a situation, the spouse may wish to not reduce the working pace, otherwise,over time, her faithful will find himself a more hard-working and devoted "horse" that will provide such a drone until old age.
There is only one situation that, one way or another, justifies the status of a non-working spouse. A disabled husband is not willingly forced to stay at home and help a working wife with a small odd job. But, even in this difficult moment of married life, real husbands cannot sit “on the neck” of their wife and children, but try to find a job that will bring at least a minimum income to the whole family.
So, the husband does not work, what to do in such cases, the spouse? Throw him out? It can be cruel and, at times, too reckless. Go to meet him and indulge his laziness? Here it is worth considering the question individually. Agree that there are no hopeless situations! Therefore, it is best to take any decision without haste and necessarily together. By the way, today many people turn for help and support to professional psychologists. There is nothing to be ashamed of here, because in such a piquant situation each of us can be.From the outside, many problems seem different, so solving them together with a specialist is a great solution.